I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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