there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Less talking, more tequila
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
