Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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