I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I CAN MOONWALK!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
