you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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