i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
