Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
