i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
