You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
