I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
