he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
