quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
