I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
