I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
