One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
