I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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