it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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