So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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