I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
