You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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