omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
