Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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