My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
