Im at strip club and am horny
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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