whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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