my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
