Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you never un-have a 4some
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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