We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
