Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
