Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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