Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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