would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
