They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
