and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
