You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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