So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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