It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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