I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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