Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
