oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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