What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
