Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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