So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
