i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
