she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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