the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
