okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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