I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
