I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
