We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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