That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
