I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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