Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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